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Josselynn Cook

Professor Bleyle

English Composition 1101

2 September 2026

When Food Became Personal 

When I was younger, food was simply a memorable part of my childhood. I never thought much about whether I was eating enough or how food affected my health. Food was about enjoying the moment. I remember getting out of the pool on a hot summer day to a turkey sandwich so warm that the cheese had melted slightly. To make it even better, I would add Doritos in the middle of the sandwich to give it a little crunch. A Kool-Aid Jammer or Capri sun was the perfect finishing touch. Back then, food was simple. Also, I remember coming home from kindergarten and seeing dinner waiting for my siblings and I. My mom would make different dishes and try new recipes, but there was one thing I absolutely refused to eat: beans. Any kind of beans were automatically a no for me. At that age, I chose food based on the question: Does it taste good? I genuinely didn't consider nutrition, health, and what my body needs. If I didn't like it, I simply didn't eat it. 

My carefree relationship with food quickly came to an end. I expected my yearly checkup at the doctor's office to be the same as it always is, but instead, I left with something I had never thought about before. The doctor told me I was underweight and needed to eat a lot more. I remember feeling confused. I was only a child, so I didn’t fully understand what those words meant or why they were important. When I told my mother, she brushed it off and reassured me, telling me my sister was around the same size as me and was perfectly fine. Hearing these words from my doctor made me look at myself differently. Suddenly, I became more aware of my health, and I saw myself in a different light. I started wondering why I was different from others and whether something was wrong with me.

 By the age of 12, I found myself spending more time in the mirror and becoming uncomfortable with my appearance. I started wearing baggier clothes in hopes that nobody would notice my body. The childish jokes and teasing from my peers about my body received from my classmates never hurt me. but now it was starting to sting. Before, I could laugh along with them or joke back. Now, their words stayed with me long after the laughter stopped.  “Why are you so skinny?’ one of my classmates asked. “Do you even eat?” Another laughed and added, “You look like you could blow away in the wind.” I forced a smile and laughed even though their words hurt more than I wanted to admit. Them seeing me affected by the words only added fuel to the fire. That was when I realized that the doctor's words had affected me more than I originally understood. From that moment on, food was no longer just the turkey sandwiches, Doritos, and drinks after swimming. It had become connected to my health, my confidence, and the way I saw myself. Something that had once been a simple and enjoyable part of childhood had suddenly become something I felt I needed to take more seriously. 

As I got older, my thoughts about food and my health concerns became hard to ignore. I began to notice how different people talked about food and appearance.  I started paying attention to what I ate and how much I ate. I made more of an effort to eat larger, balanced meals– like rice, chicken, pasta, and just more protein overall. I surrounded myself with others that are also having trouble with gaining and keeping on the weight that they have worked for, and seeing that gave me a new kind of motivation. It made me feel better knowing I could get to a healthier point in my life just like over underweight people have done. I wasn’t anorexic or bulimic, just underweight. Something as small as eating and enjoying a meal came with a lot of confusion and deep thoughts about whether or not I'm eating enough. I also became interested in becoming stronger. I started considering activities like going to the gym and building muscle, not because I wanted to fit someone else’s idea of what I should look like, but because I wanted to feel more confident in my ability to take care of myself. Slowly, I stopped thinking about food as something I had to “fix” and started understanding it as something my body genuinely needed. 

Looking back, I realize that my relationship with food wasn't just ab
out eating. It was about growing up, learning how easily outside opinions can affect the way we see ourselves, and discovering the difference between accepting my body and taking care of it. Now I understand that health is much deeper than appearance, and not just if you look healthy or not. Food taught me something I did not expect; sometimes the most important changes are not visible from the outside. Learning to nourish myself changed the way I thought about my body, but most importantly, it changed how I value myself. A plate of food may seem ordinary, but for me, it became a reminder that taking care of yourself is not something to be embarrassed about. Our bodies are not problems that need to be solved; they are parts of us that deserve to be understood and cared for. 

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